可以嗎？

在我沉溺於這夢的時候，
請不要把我推到我不可能到達的地方，好嗎？

儘管我懂，
日光之下無新事，
發生過的會重複出現，
未出現的也總會發生。

還是允許我，
在那個夢還沒消失前，
睡久一點點，
可以嗎？

讓我珍愛的一切一切，
走得比秒針還要慢，
可以嗎？

給我多一點點時間，
好讓我能把這些情節一一記下，
可以嗎？

我無法跟自己及任何人說明。

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don't want to see the day when it's dying

She's a sight to see
She's good to me
"I'm already somebody's baby"
She's a pretty thing
And she knows everything
"But I'm already somebody's baby"

"You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
little part of your life you're keeping together"

I'm nice to you
I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me, baby?

Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I got no fight

You're wonderful
And it's beautiful
"But I'm already somebody's baby"
And if I went with you
I'd disappoint you too
"Well, I'm already somebody's baby"
Already somebody's baby

就這樣，
我所願的，
那種片刻的和諧。

可是，
內心的細部，
跟那種複雜得令人困惑的情感，
我無法跟自己及任何人說明。

大概是一種好感，
一種不知該安置到哪裡去的好感。

I remember

I remember it well
The first time that I saw
Your head around the door
'Cause mine stopped working

I remember it well
There was wet in your hair
I was stood in the stairs
And time stopped moving

I want you here tonight
I want you here
'Cause I can't believe what I found
I want you here tonight
I want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down...

I remember it well
Taxied out of a storm
To watch you perform
And my ships were sailing

I remember it well
I was stood in your line
And your mouth, your mouth, your mouth...

I want you here tonight
I want you here
'Cause I can't believe what I found
I want you here tonight
I want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down...

Except you my love. Except you my love...

Come all ye lost and
Dive into moss
I hope that my sanity covers the cost
To remove the stain of my love
Paper maché

Come all ye reborn
Blow off my horn
I'm driving real hard
This is love, this is porn
God will forgive me
But I, I whip myself with scorn, scorn

I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
I remember December

And I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
What the hell do you want?

Between the bars

Drink up, baby, stay up all night
The things you could do, you won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make

Drink up with me now and forget all about
The pressure of days, do what I say
And I'll make you okay and drive them away
The images stuck in your head
People you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

Drink up, baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars
Where I'm seeing you there with your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught

Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
Keep you apart, deep in my heart
Separate from the rest, where I like you the best
And keep the things you forgot

The people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

暄鬧的酒吧，
昏暗的燈光，
香菸味、撞球聲、音樂。

隣桌無聊的笑話，
偶爾打擾著我的啤酒女郎。

如常給我空空蕩蕩的感覺。

牢記

過去的愛要淡忘，
未來的情不要奢望。

只可趁不再親近如今之前再一見。

要不再依附，
要不再問為何。
就用疲勞去滿足那些疑惑，
把悲傷都鎖在灰色的心房。

還有，
睡醒時要去確認那寂寞，
和那玻璃窗外吹來的寒風。

然後，在一切期望結束時，
告訴我，
妳和我所猜想的也一樣。

BeatlesMania

今天，Beatles 在我面前重生，我也在 Beatles 面前重生。

是愉快的一夜，美中不足的是 BeatlesMania 沒唱我愛的歌－－



I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me...
She showed me her room, isn't it good, Norwegian wood?

She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere,
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine,
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bird had flown
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, Norwegian wood.

不過，有缺失的，就是最完美。

謝謝給我完美的一夜。

渴求．重生

可否不靠近我而跟我牽手？
可否不觸碰我但跟我擁抱？

當我不在時陪我看一齣電影，
在妳遠遊時和我拍一張合照。

最寂寞時聽我愛聽的唱片，
被冷落後讀我寫的文字。

未曾親近卻和我在一起，
這便是我現在所渴求的......

今天應當是重生的好日子。

Older Chests

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we all seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
of too many books
Read me your favourite line

Papa went to other lands
And he found someone who understands
The ticking, and the western man's need to cry
He came back the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

Older gents sit on the fence
With their cap in hand
Looking grand
They watch their city change
Children scream, or so it seems,
Louder than before
Out of doors, into stores with bigger names
Mama tried to wash their faces
But these kids they lost their graces
And daddy lost at the races too many times

She broke down the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
And some things they stay the same

Like time, time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time,
Time, there's always time
On my mind
Pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

ONCE (2)

You have broken me all the way down
Down upon my knees
And you have broken me all the way now
You'll be the last you'll see

And some fight you gave
When I pushed you away
From me

And in the morning
When you turn in
I'll be far to sea

And you have broken me all the way down
You'll be the last you'll see

And what chance have we got
When you missed every shot
For me

And in the morning
When you turn in
I'll be out of reach

And in the darkness
When you find this
I'll be far to sea

And you have broken me all the way down
You'll be the last you'll see

這齣電影還在心中放映著。

天堂

那裡是天堂。

可是在天堂不能待太久，
否則天堂不會再是天堂。

我還是要回到凡間去。

結局

一年過去，
最終也是要見面。

我只是裝著忙，收拾著屬於自己的雜物。
她站在一旁用奇異的眼光看著－－
彷彿期盼著我會開口跟她說甚麼，
同時地用她透徹的眼睛在憐憫著我，
又好像帶點疚歉般在回避甚麼似的。

我已不懂分辨。

我甚麼也沒說。

偶爾在雜物堆中找到那些所謂「具有紀念價值」的東西，
我問她，要嗎？
然後我問自己，要嗎？
當大家都放棄擁有的權利時，
那些所謂「具有紀念價值」的物件便被扔掉，
就像那些，我曾想像為「愛」的東西一樣。

離開的時候，我跟她擁抱。

我緊緊的把她抱在懷中，
我想盡可能把我們一年來的陌生空間收窄。
從她的體溫與氣味，喚醒了久遺的回憶。

過了很久，我才懂得把手鬆開。

我凝望著她的臉，
我想，這樣，就這樣，
如此的埸景，如此的擁抱，
已是我倆最完美、最溫柔的結局。

親密與生命中的重要事情

然而，和某個人太親密豈不是更悲慘嗎？這難道不是件痛苦的事？甚至比逝去的愛情更痛苦？

尼采說：「與一個人太親密，就好像我們不時用手指去摸一幅絕妙的銅版畫。總有一天，在我們手裡只剩下一張骯髒破爛的紙。人的心靈也會因為不斷的傷害而蒙塵。至少在我們看來是一張骯髒的紙，無法辦識它原來的痕跡和最初的美麗。在與女人或朋友過於親密的交往當中，人們總是在失去，最後還將失去生命之珠。」

．．．

不管有沒有結婚，都可能失敗。這點我們很清楚。結婚與否，懷疑始終伴隨我們，也就是說，我們始終會後悔，沒有作出相反的決定。但生命的價值只能從婚姻與愛情或兩者去衡量嗎？婚姻和愛情不是我們不應該小題大作的東西嗎？不管結婚與否，愛情和婚姻的洶湧波濤總會風平浪靜。難道在生命裡沒有其他更重要的事嗎？

《愛、欲望、出軌的哲學》，哈洛德．柯依瑟爾、歐依根．舒拉克／著，張存華／譯，P.165-167

"The love part is overrated, most of the time."

Bones 說得對，
M 也說得對。

Que reste-t-il de nos amours

像是冥冥中安排似的，
這首歌最近總是隨身繞著走。



I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best, my very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love

然後發現，Stacey Kent 也唱過這歌，法文原版的。



Que reste-t-il de nos amours [what remains of our love?]
Que reste-t-il de ces beaux jours [what remains of those beautiful days?]
Une photo, vieille photo [a photo, old photo]
De ma jeunesse [of my youth]

Que reste-t-il des billets doux [what remains of the love-tellers?]
Des mois d’avril, des rendez-vous [of the month of april, of those meetings?]
Un souvenir qui me poursuit [a memory that pursues me]
Sans cesse [incessantly]

Bonheur fané, cheveux au vent [faded happiness, hair blowing in the breeze]
Baisers volés, rêves mouvants [stolen kisses, shifting dreams]
Que reste-t-il de tout cela [what remains of all that?]
Dites-le-moi [tell me]

Un petit village, un vieux clocher [a little village, an old steeple]
Un paysage si bien caché [a countryside so well hidden]
Et dans un nuage le cher visage [and in a cloud, the dear face]
De mon passé [of my lost one]

原版是少了偉大的祝福，
但那種思念卻更深。

為何 Stacey 的歌聲總是那麼溫柔，
歌雖悲哀，
她總能令我的心得到一刻安寧。