I am a Reliable Realist

我所住的就是這樣的世界

我所住的就是這樣的世界。只要能擁有港區的房子、歐洲車和勞力士人家就認為你是一流的。真無聊。沒有任何意義。也就是，我想說的是，所謂必要是這種被人為作出來的東西。不是自然產生的東西。是被捏造出來的。沒有必要的東西，卻給你是必要東西的幻想。很簡單喏。只要不斷地製造這種資訊就行了。說住就要住港區、車子要ＢＭＷ、手錶要勞力士。不斷不斷地反覆送出這樣的訊息。這麼一來大家便打腦子裡相信了。住就要住港區、車子要ＢＭＷ、手錶要勞力士。有一種人就認為能得到這種東西便是差異化的達成。認為這就與眾不同了。卻沒發現由於這樣結果卻變成大家都一樣。缺乏想像力。那種東西只不過是人為的資訊。只不過是幻想。我對這些徹徹底底愈感到厭煩。

《舞‧舞‧舞》，村上春樹 著，賴明珠 譯

Love Hurts

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds' and most
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain,
take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, oh, love hurts

I'm young, i know, but even so
I know a thing or two - i learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a stove, it burns you when it's hot
Love hurts, oh, love hurts

Some fools
think of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools
fool themselves, i guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true, i know it isn't true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts,
Oh, love hurts

I know it
isn't true i know it isn't true
Love is just a
lie made to make you blue
Love hurts, oh, love hurts
Oh, love hurts...

傷

這種事情是會慢性化的。吞進日常生活裡去，弄不清楚什麼地方受傷了。不過那卻是存在的。
傷這東西就是這樣。並不是可以說就是這個，然後拿出來給人家看的。能夠讓人家看的東西，就不是什麼嚴重的傷了。

《舞‧舞‧舞》，村上春樹 著，賴明珠 譯

我發覺，
我總需要給一些東西纏繞著，
否則我可能活不下去。

＊　＊　＊　＊　＊

如果我可以承受心靈上的種種空虛，
我會變成甚麼呢？

Bad dreams

Oh every night I’m dreaming of you
We’re weaving through a crowded room
I ask you to be my best friend too
and then I lose you

On a steamer with a small city band
I chase you through the room again
You’re gone before the next dance ends
I don’t what it means

Bad dreams...
Bad dreams...

And I am damned before I even begin
But ill chase you through the room again
And I’ll ask you to be my best best friend...
and then I lose you

But I should do what I want to do
I should dream about whoever I want to dream about
But every night I’m calling out your name...
every time you get away

Bad dreams...
Bad dreams...

How can I not love you?

Cannot Touch, Cannot Hold
Cannot Be Together
Cannot Love, Cannot Kiss
Cannot Have Each other
Must Be Strong
And We Must Let Go
Cannot Say What our Hearts Must Know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you.. here In My Arms
How Does One Walks away from all of the memories
How Do I Not Miss You When You Are Gone

Cannot Dream
Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend its over
Must be brave
And we must go on
Must not say what we no longer long

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you Here In My Arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you When You Are Gone
How can I not love you...

Must Be Brave
And we must be strong
Cannot say what we've no longer long...

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here In my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you... when you are gone

How Can I Not Love You - DK Tijam

墜入愛河

人都會墜入愛河。「墜入」表明了人在意識上的不由自主、不知不覺。「一見鍾情」更是如此。愛情具有偉大的力量，且無比曼妙神奇，凡此種種都表明「墜入」一詞使用得合情合理；而一旦人們意識到愛情的複雜性，這種說法就難免顯得有些誇張。正如美國當代性愛大師歐文．辛格（ Irving Singer）提及，墜入愛河與其說屬於本能的範疇，倒不如說屬於概念的範疇，與其說是本能的偏好或是受荷爾蒙的驅使，倒不如說它是在當時社會和藝術影響下而形成的某種傾向。當然，這種傾向需要被激化，或者說它是一種可以膨脹的熱望。一旦這種傾向被激化（一次有感覺的會面說不定就能激化它），淒涼的情緒就會走出憂鬱，這時刻代表著新生活的開始，過去的一切都成為歷史，一去不復返了。有情人對過去生活的種種怨恨，都會在這個時刻全部釋懷，並驚奇地發現他（或她）非常容易地就原諒了曾經傷害過他（或她）的人。在有情人還沒有完全沉浸於此時此刻，還沒有完全沉浸於未來美好生活的憧憬中時，他們就已經不再對過去耿耿於懷，過去的種種已經撒滿了明媚的陽光，熱戀中的人會手牽著手漫步在過去美好的回憶中。

《逃避主義》，段義夫著，P.81

One last cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

我是什麼東西？

一面側耳傾聽著傅尼葉流暢華麗而氣質高雅的大堤琴，青年一面想起小時候，每天到附近的河裡釣泥鰍的事。那時候可以什麼都不想，他這樣想。只要那樣活下去就行了。只要活著，我就是什麼東西。大自然就是這樣成立的。可是不知不覺間卻已經不再那樣了。活著，我變成什麼東西都不是了。

這真奇怪。人是為了活下去才被生下來的，不是嗎？然而，我卻覺得越活下去內容越喪失，變得只是個空空洞洞的人似的。而且往後可能越活下去，我還會變成更空洞更沒價值的人。這種事情是不對的。怎麼會有這麼奇怪的事。這種趨勢是不是在能夠在什麼地方改變過來呢？


《海邊的卡夫卡》，村上春樹 著，賴明珠 譯